Working On That Communication!
It is said, from my very reliable source of google, that people speak around 5000 words a day. You think that would mean we are all pros by now right? Haha that is definitely not the case for Brandon and I. Episode 8 on our podcast, we attack one of our biggest weaknesses… communication. You can listen to the episode here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/living-simply-with-the-ruths/id1523127782?i=1000488438192
Also, if you like our episodes please like, subscribe, share and leave a review (all that stuff people always tell you to do haha). We used to hate to ask but seriously, we are finding out it literally helps us out SO much! So thank you in advance. Let's get to the real stuff.
Do you feel like you are constantly not met with the same energy you put into situations? People are not reciprocating enough? What if I told you the problem wasn't them, it was you? This is a hard pill I have had to learn to swallow. I have had to learn this exact thing and still am learning it. You CAN NOT control other people, you CAN ONLY control yourself. We talk about how we have worked on improving this topic over the last 7 years by being clear with what is bothering us, not creating expectations for the other person, and using the “higher standards” principle. It is not an easy subject and by no means are we are experts. We are constantly trying to grow and that is all you can do.
Be clear with what is bothering, what you need from the other person and topics you feel like you need to work through. This is crucial in relationships, friendships, and even with kids. This brings us to topic #2 though, just by being clear with them, do not expect them to just immediately bend over backwards for you.
Expectations. Personally, these are SO hurtful. They crumble at the very foundation of families, friends and every other relationship. This excerpt at the end of this page from our episode I think raps this topic all up. I couldn't rephrase it any better
I used to think relationships were about meeting in the middle and compromising. As I have read more and understood the topic, I feel like compromising on both sides causes each person to feel like they are losing. So I have began to really like the idea of "Higher Standards." Higher standards is where you chose to just be the best person you can be because it makes sense. Our example, Brandon likes a clean house. I am not the cleanest person haha, but instead of compromising and accepting a modestly clean house. I am striving to be have a clean house because it just makes sense to be the best person I can be. Why chose modestly clean, when the house can be really clean? At the end of the day, it will make both of us more productive because of less clutter= less stress. It just makes the most sense.
On expectations excerpt:
"We expect so much more out of people that are closer to us and setting a higher expectation for these people is just setting them up to fail even more.
The thing with expectation is that you can control your expectations. You can't control other people. So rather than holding your expectation high and forcing other people to meet that expectation. It's better for you to bite the bullet and change your expectations and just understand that people are gonna come short of your expectations and your standards all the time.
I mean people might not even know your expectations exist or there are other things going on in people's lives. I have to always remind myself that when we're around family or you know, anyone that's close to you.You expect them to remember... I don't know you just expect them to be there for you more and what not, but really that's such a a terrible thing that we've put that expectation on them because there might be things going on in their life that we don't even know about."
Thanks for following along. We appreciate you all dearly.